


Jingle Bell Rock

by clgfanfic



Series: Shadow Chasers/X-Files - Little St. Nick [6]
Category: Shadow Chasers, The X-Files
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-03
Updated: 2012-11-03
Packaged: 2017-11-17 15:27:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/553076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clgfanfic/pseuds/clgfanfic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The partners cross oaths for a second time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jingle Bell Rock

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published in the zine The Yule Tide #2 under the pen name J.P. Cads.

Dr. Jonathan MacKenzie stood at the edge of the road, his luggage in hand, and stared at the back of his so-called 'friend' as Benedek started down a steep hill leading to the beach.

"Benedek!" MacKenzie called.  "This is crazy!"

"Come on, John-Boy!" the journalist cajoled.  "Wait'll you see what Mrs. Claus has done with this place, it's a little piece of paradise and we're invited to share it for a few days."

"Mrs. Claus?"

"Come on!"

Jon stumbled down the incline, finally catching up with Benny as he reached the sand.  The journalist flashed the scientist a smile.  "I have it on very good authority that Barbara Bush used to be Mrs. Claus, but she and ol' Nicky split up… irreconcilable differences."

"You mean she's always looked like that?"

"Yep.  And the second Mrs. C left the big guy for the glitz of Holly-weird."

Jon stared at Benny, not sure whether or not to take him seriously.

"But the new Mrs. C is quite a lady!  She's really given Nicky a social boost, got him to head south, loosen up, have a little more fun…"

"You're joking, right?" Jon asked.

Benny grinned.  "Just stick with me, Jack, this is gonna be a great weekend!"

The pair made their way across the loose sand, then started down the beach.  Benny kicked off his shoes and picked them up, shoving them into his travel bag.  Jon struggled along behind, the tiny grains filling up his penny-loafers.

"How far is this paradise?" Jon asked.

"Not too far," Benny said.  "Loosen up, Jon-Boy!  Let yourself go!  Take off your shoes."

"Thank you, no," MacKenzie said, squinting to try and make out any houses in the distance.  "Benedek, this is…"

"Fun?" Benny suggested.  "Relaxing?  Exciting?"

"Insane!" Jon countered.  "I can't believe we're here.  All the sun—"

"The better to get a tan with, Johnny."

"The palm trees…"

"The better to flavor those _piña coladas_ _!_ "

Jon watched three young women run down the beach, their tiny bikinis leaving very little to the imagination.  "The sunbathers…"

"Ahhh, the better to—"

"Benedek!"

"Come on, there's the house," Benny said, wagging his eyebrows at Jon.

MacKenzie's mouth dropped open.  'House' didn't even begin to describe the structure that dominated a good portion of the local landscape.  It was a huge, rambling structure half-hidden behind a tall adobe wall.  The house was white-washed and had an Italian villa look.  Trees grew around the property, many sporting large red, orange, and yellow flowers.  As they drew closer, Jon could hear, then see several fountains behind a huge iron gate that opened onto a section of beach marked "private."

Benny walked up to the serious-looking old man who stood at the gate.  Jon fought back a smile.  The guard was four foot tall, if he was lucky, making Benedek look tall.

Jon shook his head as he took in the guard's attire – red Mexican wedding shirt, green Bermuda shorts, red sneakers, and a long red and white stocking hat on top of his longish grey hair.

"Hey, Jox," Benny greeted.  "How's it hangin'?"

"Hey, Benny!" the small man replied, looking genuinely happy to see the reporter.  "Glad you could make it.  Looks like it's gonna be a heck of a weekend."

"You know me, can't pass up a good party," Benny said.  "And this is Dr. Jonathan MacKenzie from the Georgetown Institute."

Jox's forehead wrinkled as he thought for a moment.  "MacKenzie… MacKenzie…  Jonathan MacKenzie…"  He looked up, and snapped his fingers.  "Now I remember.  You wanted a rocking horse on your fifth Christmas, but you broke your mother's favorite vase that year and blamed it on the dog.  Am I right?"

"The dog?" Benny teased.  "Couldn't you've been more creative than that, Jack?"

"How'd you know about that?" Jon demanded, his cheeks flaming red.

Jox waggled silver grey eyebrows at Jon.

"How's the old man doin'?" Benny asked.

"Fine, fine.  He's out snorkeling, but he'll be back before supper.  He never misses one of Mrs. Claus's meals."

"Mmm," Benny said, his eyes dropping closed.  "Food…  I'm so hungry right now I could eat a reindeer!"

Jox's eyes rounded like saucers.  He grabbed the reporter's shoulder.  "Benny!  Shh, the deer wander the grounds, and you know how sensitive they can be!"

Benny grinned.  "Yeah, especially Rudolph.  That deer really needs an injection of a sense of humor.  Sorry."

"You grow with a nose that glows red and see if you have a sense of humor," Jox stated flatly.

"Rudolph?" Jon asked.

"So, where's the Missis?" Jon asked.

"She's in the kitchen, whippin' up some strawberry daiquiris for you and the professor here."

"Hey, that's great!" Benny enthused.  "Come on Jon-boy, you gotta try these drinks, they are a-okay!"

Benny grabbed Jon's arm and dragged him past the gate and onto the grounds.  As he stumbled toward the house MacKenzie was sure he did see several reindeer foraging among the leaves, but he shook his head and chalked it up to an overactive imagination and Benedek's ramblings.

As they neared the house several more very short adults scampered from the pool deck to the door and disappeared.  They emerged a few moments later, each carrying a strawberry daiquiri.

"Who are these people?" Jon asked.

"Santa's elves, Jack-o."

"Elves?" Jon squeaked.  "Come on, Benedek, there's—"  He stopped mid-sentence when one of the small women, tucked long blonde hair behind a daintily-pointed ear.

"Take your shoes off," Benny instructed.

"What?" Jon asked, still staring at the woman.

"I said, take your shoes off," Benny repeated.  "Mrs. C doesn't like her floors scuffed."

Jon shook his head, but reached down and pulled off his loafers, setting them next to the door, then followed Benny into a kitchen that was at least as big as his Washington DC apartment.  Still holding his luggage, he craned his neck, looking at the tiled floor, the polished copper pots hanging from the walls, and the array of modern appliances scattered across the counters.  Someone was definitely in the throes of holiday cooking.  Then he saw her.

"Benny!"

"Mrs. C!" the journalist replied, dropping his bag and taking a step forward to meet the woman.

The tall, slender, well-endowed, tanned, blonde living Barbie doll wrapped Benny in an affectionate hug and kissed his cheek.  "It is soooo good to see you, Benny."

"Same here," he replied.  "Where's the old man?"

"Out saying hello to the fishes," she explained.  "Do you want a daiquiri?"

"Sure," Benny said.  "And let me introduce Dr. Jonathan MacKenzie, of the Georgetown Institute."

The young woman smiled warmly at Jon.  "So nice to meet another one of Benny's friends," she said, moving to give Jon a chaste hug and peck on the cheek.  "Especially at this time of year."

Jon thought a moment, trying to place the woman's accent.  "Swedish?"

She nodded and smiled happily.  "Ya, you have a good ear."  She turned and headed for the counter where three blenders stood like tin-soldiers, the last still half full with the icy red liquid.  Filling three glasses, she passed two to Benny, who handed one to Jon.

"Benny, why don't you pick one of the bedrooms, then take Jon out and enjoy the pool?  I have to get dinner started – tofu lasagna, spinach and watercress salad with yogurt dressing, and fresh fruit sorbet for desert."

"Sounds great!" Benny said.  "Come on, Jon, there's a room in the west wing that has a super view of the beach -- which means a view of all those luscious sunbathers!"

"And it's still open," Mrs. Claus said.  "I saved it especially for you."

"You have my undying gratitude," Benny told her, grabbing Jon and leading him out of the kitchen.  "We'll get settled in and then I'll introduce to the elves and maybe some of the reindeer – if they're feeling social, but no matter what he says, don't let Rudolph talk you out of a sip of your drink."

"Rudolph drinks?"

Benny nodded, his expression serious.  "Alcohol makes his nose glow pink; just doesn't cut the fog like his normal red does.  Drives the old man crazy."

Jon nodded slowly, feeling like he'd just slipped down the rabbit-hole.

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

"That's some house," Scully said, lying down on top the sandy dune that over-looked the villa-style beach home.  "But why are we here?"

"That's his new home," Mulder explained, maneuvering his field glasses to his eyes and adjusting the focus.

"His?"

"Kris Kringle," Mulder said as he stared through the glasses.  "A-k-a, Santa Claus, Saint Nicholas, and occasionally Jolly Ole Saint Nick."

Scully eyes dropped closed and she silently counted to ten, letting the urge to smack her partner up-side the head pass.

"I can't believe you've let yourself become this _obsessed_ with a case, Mulder.  The aliens I can understand, but Santa?"

"He's real, Scully, and I'm going to prove it."

"What you're going to prove is that you need a long vacation in a small room with soft walls," she replied under her breath.

"Take a look," Mulder said, ignoring the comment and handing her the glasses.

Scully adjusted the focus and peered at the house for a few moments before she said, "I see a big house, Mulder."

"Check out the pool."

Another several moments passed.  "I see a bunch of short people enjoying the sun and drinking what looks like strawberry daiquiris."

Mulder sighed.  "Take a closer look at their ears, Scully."

She dropped the glasses and stared at her soon to be ex-partner.  "Their ears?"

"Just look," Mulder said, motioning back toward the house.

Scully looked, peering at the men and women lounging around the pool for almost a minute until one of the women reached up and tucked her red hair behind her ear.  "It's slightly deformed."

"It's pointed," Mulder corrected.  "They have pointed ears."

"Pointed."

"Yes, Scully, they're elves."

"Elves."

"Now, check out the stables at the back of the property."

The federal agent sighed heavily, but she looked.  "They look like ordinary stables."

"See any horses?"

Scully focused.  "No…"

"What _do_ you see?"

"Antlers," she admitted begrudgingly.  She shifted her focus back to the people at the pool.  _Elves?_

"I'll bet if we could see into the house we'd find an old, white-haired, plump Mrs. Claus baking gingerbread cookies for her husband and the elves."

"Mulder—" Scully started, then broke off when Edgar Benedek and Jonathan MacKenzie walked out to join the poolside party.

"What is it?"

"It's Jon and that Benedek guy," she said, adding quietly.  "And Jon looks as good as ever, if I do say so myself."

"I knew it!" Mulder gloated.  "If Benedek is here, Santa can't be too far away."

"Mulder, this obsession is getting out of control.  There is no such thing as Santa Claus.  Maybe we're dealing with some guy who thinks he's—"

"Come on," Mulder said, ignoring the comment.

"Where?"

"Down there."

"I don't think that's a good idea.  I think—"

"Come on, Scully."  He grabbed her arm and pulled her to her feet.  "Here comes, Santa Claus."

"Where?" she demanded.  "No.  Don't tell me, right down Santa Claus lane?"

"Right down _the_ lane," Mulder interrupted, pointing at the white-haired, rotund old man in bright tie-dyed Bermuda shorts who was lumbering down the narrow lane leading to the front of the house.

"Santa wears tie-dye?" Scully asked before Mulder dragged her away.

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

Drinks in hand and dressed in their swim trunks, Benny and Jon joined the others at the pool.  Benny immediately slipped into the warm water and struck up a conversation with a pretty red-headed girl…

 _With pointed ears_ , Jon noted.  _Elves_.  _Now he's got_ me _believing it!_

The scientist tried to ignore the bad lines Benny fed the young whatever she was, and the two older male whatsits, who sat next to him, arguing about the typical weather over Siberia on Christmas Eve, concentrated instead on watching the single reindeer who was slowly making his way out of the foliage.  A red-nosed reindeer…

"Uh, Benedek?"

Benny didn't hear a word, too involved with the woman.

"Benedek!"

"Huh?" Benny said, swinging around.

Jon pointed.

"Rudolph!" Benny called, then looked back at the women.  "I'll be right back, you beautiful fairy, don't go anywhere."

The girl giggled and blushed.  "I wouldn't think of it."

Benny jumped up, his rump landing on the pool deck with a watery slosh.  He stood and walked over to the deer.  "Ruddy, my main reindeer, good to see you!"

The reindeer blew a blast through his nostrils and nodded his head.

"Come here, I want to introduce you to a real good friend of mine."

The deer followed Benny over to Jon's lounge chair.

"Ruddy, this is Jonathan MacKenzie."

Jon hesitated a moment, then started to extend his hand, and pulled it back.  He looked up at Benny.  "Uh…"

"Just reach out and give ol' Ruddy a scratch between the antlers," Benny instructed.  "He likes that."

Jon did as he was told, staring at the animals bulbous red proboscus as it slowly began to glow a bright red.

"See, I told you he likes that."

Rudolph bobbed his head, then stretched out his neck, upper lip grabbing for Jon's glass.

"Oh no you don't, old sport!" Benny said, grabbing the glass and downing the contents.  "You have to fly tonight!"

Ruddy snorted and shook his head, his nubby tail flicking in annoyance.

"Hey, the old man's back!" one of the elves called, scampering into the pool house.  A stereo blasted to life, calypso-Christmas music filling the air.

Jon watched in fascination as the elf bounded out of the pool house carrying three poles.

"It's limbo time!" Benny yelled, slapping Jon's back.

"Limbo?" MacKenzie echoed.

"The old man loves to limbo," Benny explained.  "And there he is!"

Jon turned.  Yep, it was him all right.  Old, long white hair and beard, red nose, twinkling eyes, huge round belly, and tie-dyed Bermuda shorts?  He and Benedek obviously shopped in the same stores.

"Benny!" the man cried, waddling over to give the journalist a big hug.  "Glad you could make it, Benny-boy."

"You know I can't say no to you, Nick-ster."

The old man laughed, a deep belly ho-ho-ho that sent goose flesh running across Jon's back and arms.

"Well, we've got a little time before supper's ready, so…"  He gave Rudolph's butt a loud swat.  "Let's limbo!"

The reindeer trotted into the leaves.

"He doesn't like to dance," Benny explained.  "Four left hooves."

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

"What is that music?" Scully asked, her expression going sour.

"Christmas carols," Mulder offered.  "Calypso style.  I kind of like it"

"You would.  It sounds like noise to me," was her reply.  "Do you see him."

"Yep."

She sighed, trying to maneuver through the thick foliage for a better view.  She felt her shoe slide into something soft and looked down.  Reindeer spore if she wasn't mistaken.   _Great_.

"What's he doing?" she asked as she rubbed her shoes along the leaves to clean it off.

"The limbo."

She stopped.  "Let me get this straight.  Santa Claus is dancing the limbo to calypso Christmas carols?"

"Yep, and two elves are holding the poles, and if I don't miss my guess, that's Rudolph who's egging him on."

"Rudolph, as in the red-nosed reindeer?"

"The very same."

The federal agent's eyes dropped close again.  _One of these days I'm going to have him committed; that or I'm going to shoot him_.

"What're we going to do?" she forced herself to ask.

"Let's go check out the house while they're busy."

"Of course," she replied with false cheerfulness.  "Why didn't I think of that?"

Shaking her head, Scully followed her partner as he led the way into the large house.

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

Benny laughed and clapped his hands.  "Headline:  How low can he go?  Santa Claus Limbo-King.  Dances elves, Rudolph into ground during pleasure-island getaway!"

"I like it!" Santa bellowed.  "I could use a few good headlines."

"Pudding, supper's ready," Mrs. C called from the kitchen door.

"Let's eat!" Santa announced.  "We'll limbo again later!"

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

Mulder and Scully made their way through the villa, finding several rooms stuffed full of wrapped presents.

"See, I told you.  It's just like the house we found last year."

Scully sighed.  They had been though all this the year before.  She cocked her head, listening.  "Shh," she said softly.

"What?"

"They're coming inside."

"Let's go."

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

"This is all the proof I need," Mulder whispered as he and Scully peered around a corner into the large dining room.

"Proof?"

"Look at the food, Scully."

"Roast beast?" she asked facetiously.

Mulder ignored her cynicism.  "If those aren't sugar plums I'll eat that red-nosed reindeer over there."

Scully had to admit that seeing eight tiny reindeer and the deformed one standing around the table begging for scraps was a little disconcerting -- to say the least.  And the man at the head of the table did fit the standard Santa profile, but the woman at the other end of the table was definitely _not_ the Mrs. Claus-type.

What intrigued her most was the fact that all of the short people seated around the table did seem to have ear deformities of some kind.  That or they were all _Star Trek_ fans and on a Vulcan kick of some kind.

She smiled briefly as she watched Jon enjoying his meal, wondering if he regretted the tiny tattoos they'd gotten after their last date in Washington DC.  A hand drifted back toward her derrière to touch the tattoo, but she stopped short, not wanting to tip Mulder to the other side of her life.

"Any more of those sugar plums?" one of the elves asked.

Mrs. Claus started to stand, but Santa waved at her to sit.  "I'll get it," he said, laying a finger to the side of his nose.  He blinked out of existence.

"Where'd he go?" Scully asked, her eyes going wide.

"The kitchen," Mulder said.  "Come on."

 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

 

Santa bent over the open oven door, and using a thickly padded mit, pulled out another dish stuffed full of the sweet smelling baked plums.  "Mmm," he said as he set the dish on the countertop, closed the oven door, and turned off the heat.

"Santa Claus, I presume?"

The older man turned to face the two federal agents.  "Agent Mulder!" he said, his eyes twinkling.  "I wondered if you'd make it this year.  Why don't you come in and join us.  The missus cooks a mean roast of—"

"Please," Scully said, "don't say it."

"A skeptic, huh?" Santa asked Mulder.

The agent nodded.

"Young lady," Santa said sternly.  "I am who your partner thinks I am."

"Then you're as crazy as he is," she replied sweetly.

"Scully," Mulder gasped.  "You don't really think I'm crazy, do you?"

"Sometimes," she admitted.  "Like now."

The jolly one chuckled.  "I can prove it."

"Oh?" Scully challenged.

Santa winked at Mulder.  "The Christmas you graduated from your F.B.I. training you considered a very— How shall I say this… risqué gift for yourself?"

Scully's cheeks shifted from dusky pink to candy-apple red.  "Tell me what it was," she directed.

Santa leaned forward and whispered the answer in her ear, but it was loud enough for Mulder to hear.

Mulder's eyes flew wide and he gaped at his partner.  "Scully?"

She nodded silently, reaching a deep shade of crimson.

"If you'd asked me a little more sincerely I would've been happy to deliver on that gift," he said, a touch of lechery in his voice.

Mulder stared at his partner's chest, wondering what kind of charm she would have hung from a dainty gold ring.

"Hey, hey, if it's not secret agent man and his faithful sidekick!" Benny said as he walked in to join them.  "The elves were clamoring for their sugar plums.  Hey, Jon-boy!" he called.  "Your lady fed is here!"

"Dana?!" echoed in from the dining room.  "Dana?"

There was a sound of a chair being pushed back, then the patter of several hooves as the reindeer got out of MacKenzie's way.

Jon burst into the kitchen, his face alight with happiness at finding Scully there.  "Dana, I didn't expect to see you here!  I thought you were spending the holidays with your mother."

"I planned to," she said, giving Mulder a sidelong glance.  "But I was roped into this trip."

"Me, too," Jon told her.

"The Nickstr thought secret agent man might follow me here," Benny said.

Jon looked from Dana to Benedek.  "Then this was all a ploy to get _him_ here?"

The journalist shrugged.  "Sort of; but I _never_ pass up one of the Jolly-miester's weekend parties, they are _the best_."

Scully and Mulder exchanged glances.

"Dana, come in and sit down.  Whoever these people are, the food is really wonderful."

Scully nodded and took Jon's proffered hand, following him into the dining room, side-stepping the red-nosed reindeer who tried to goose her in her tattoo.

In the kitchen Mulder took a step closer to Santa, his voice low and intense, "Are you really Santa Claus?"

"Of course."

Mulder studied the old man's eyes, looking for any trace of guile and finding none.  "I think I believe you."

"You think?"

Mulder considered for a moment.  "I believe you."

"Great," Santa said.  "Now that that's settled, why don't you help me with these sugarplums and we'll go finish supper."

"I just have one question for you," Mulder said.  "It's the reason why I've been trying to track you down all these years."

"Okay, shoot."

"Why didn't you ever give me the pony I kept asking for?"

Santa reached out and patted Mulder's shoulder sympathetically.  "It's the reindeer."

"The reindeer?"

"Yep.  They're allergic to ponies.  I can't tell you how many kids are disappointed every year because of that.  And I've tried shots, pills, even acupuncture, but whenever they get within sniffing distance of a pony they stuff right up, start sneezing, and that at the speeds we travel at could mean a real disaster.  I'm sorry, Fox."

Mulder nodded.  "It's okay.  At least now that I have the truth."

"The truth is out there," Santa assured him.  "Now, let's eat!"

Mulder picked up the sugar plum and followed.

"Say, do you and your partner limbo?"


End file.
